People Share The 20+ Darkest Secrets That They Don’t Want Anyone In Their Lives To Know
Everyone has secrets, and some of them are haunting or embarrassing enough that they don't feel they can afford to tell anyone about them. Whether it's because they think everyone will look at them differently or there are legitimate legal consequences for revealing the truth, they feel compelled to take it to the grave.
However, harboring that kind of secret is easier said than done. A deep, dark secret has a way of eating at people inside, and they feel like they'll get some comforting release by telling someone about it. So, some people will find it's best to confess them to strangers who will likely never meet them. These are their stories.
A very retro caper
For those who are too young to remember, a computer mouse used to be impossible to use without the dense resin trackball that went into the unit from below. As Reddit user Flashy_Contract_969 told it, a childhood classmate in 1996 convinced them that these trackballs were worth as much as gold.
This led them to steal one from the computer in their classroom with no plan on what to do with it afterward. So, when their teacher found out and became enraged, they kept hiding it out of fear, even when presented with a chance to return it anonymously. Finally, another kid named Kyle willingly took the blame, and they're still ashamed that they let him do that.
A prank with a surprisingly tragic ending
Reddit user tessmarye1 described stealing their brother's Ghostbuster's T-shirt a while back. This wasn't because they wanted it, but so they could send their brother emails as "The Shirtnapper," and both prank him and give him a fun mystery to solve.
Sadly, the brother would never read these emails or find out what happened to his shirt. He never noticed the emails in the weeks between the moment when his sibling stole the shirt and his sudden and tragic passing. Nonetheless, tessmarye1 figured he would've enjoyed the quirky joke.
The neighbors must never know what they do
As Reddit user bizarreizarra described, they have a habit that started a decade ago and continues to the present day. And it involves sneaking onto active construction sites late at night and messing with the heavy equipment that's left there overnight.
They don't try to drive or steal it, but those who live around these worksites would likely prefer they did. Instead, they lay on the horn for a moment before they scamper away. Apparently, they've done it to nearly every kind of heavy machinery there is. Residents still haven't found out who's been disturbing their sleep.
The nearly perfect crime
When Reddit user CaptainMagnets was in Grade Seven, they were supposed to take out a book from the school library to do a book report. They didn't because they didn't want to do the report, but they changed their mind shortly before it was due to avoid trouble from their strict parents.
Since they didn't have time to get one for real, they instead decided to make a book up. They invented a fake title a fake author, and even drew a picture of their favorite part to make the plot they made up seem more believable. Naturally, the teacher never found the book in the library, and they feigned being baffled as to why.
Sometimes, you've got to handle it yourself
When Reddit user shibbs1027 was a teenager, someone would continuously egg and throw toilet paper around their home. For some reason, their parents kept blaming them for it and made them clean it all away every weekend.
Since the parents clearly weren't helpful, shibbs1027 took matters into their own hands once they found out who did it. This involved defecating in a plastic bag and shoving in that kid's mailbox. It's a little unorthodox, to say the least, but it was enough to make the prankster stop after he realized what kind of war he had started.
The kid was never supposed to see that
When Reddit user punk077 was about 12 years old, they discovered their dad's camcorder in their parent's bedroom. Although some adults are likely wincing at the thought of this, the kid was curious about what was on it and looked through it.
As some may expect, punk077 saw footage of their dad during an intimate encounter. However, he wasn't with their mom at the time but rather the family's maid. The father asked if the kid had messed with his camcorder afterward but obviously didn't press the issue when the kid denied it. As far as they knew, their mother never found out.
A rash decision led to a close call
When Reddit user This-Alarm-4260 was in the Navy, he had a mental breakdown while stationed on a ship in the middle of the Indian Ocean. While people were watching him, he jumped off the side of the ship. He was in the water for over an hour before he was rescued.
Although he had intended to stay down there when he jumped and was minutes away from drowning during the rescue, he learned that he wanted to live by the time that happened. Since the psychiatric evaluation wasn't so thorough in those days, he was able to keep quiet about the incident for 20 years.
A dish best-served cold
When Reddit user NoEye9794 was in Grade Nine, she dealt with relentless bullying from another girl for being slim. This girl also went around telling everyone she could that the Redditor had an eating disorder. It wasn't true, but her actions clearly weren't done out of concern, even if it was.
Somehow, NoEye9794 ended up learning the girl's phone number. Once she discovered it, she spent several weeks setting an alarm for 3 am so she could call the girl's home each day and breathe heavily on the phone. As she said, "If she wasn't going to give me peace during the day, I wasn't going to give her peace at night."
Even now, they'd probably be angry about this
When Reddit user Secret_Identity28 was a child, their family was planning to sell their house and move away. This was the last thing they wanted, so they devised a plan that turned out so well that nobody has suspected them of anything decades later.
What was that plan? They deliberately flooded the basement through unspecified means. This was enough to make the buyer back out of the sale and prevent the move from happening. Their family probably still thinks it was an unfortunate coincidence.
At least they had a plausible alibi
Although it's hard to call this secret so deep or dark, it's apparently something that Reddit user Rumpleshite feels a bit bad about. While on a tour of Honduras, they were left alone with a bowl of tropical fruit that was intended for the whole group.
After they tried one, they found it was so delicious that they had to have another. This cycle kept repeating, and before they realized it, they ate every fruit in the bowl. When the rest of their group returned, they blamed it on a roving group of local monkeys.
Grandpa had a surprisingly dark past
Although Reddit user BrazillianNuts09 claims they've had a fairly boring life, the same apparently cannot be said of their late great-grandfather. Back in the 1960s, he owned a bar somewhere in Brazil. That's the part of the story the Redditor can confirm.
However, even they're not sure if the rest of this really happened. Yet, what they were told was that this great-grandfather and his baseball bat had a lethal encounter with someone who tried to rob his bar. After some regular customers helped him deal with the body, nobody spoke about the incident again.
The most impressive plagiarism ever
When Reddit user TheKingOfDub was in Grade Six, he was asked to write a short story in class. Although he wasn't interested in writing his own story, he was able to write a great deal in the hour provided thanks to knowing Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy word-for-word.
Although he didn't share what grade he got on the assignment, he was able to get to the point shown here in the film adaptation before he ran out of time. It's hard not to wonder whether his teacher finally realized what he did when the movie came out.
A low-stakes but unstoppable hacker
As Reddit user Beneficial_Treat_131 explained, they used to go into retail stores that sell computers like Walmart or Best Buy and wipe the hard drives of every PC on display every two to three weeks. Although they did this for a couple of years, they also taught a friend to do it, who taught another friend and the chain continued until stores in multiple counties were affected.
Years later, they discovered from a long-time Walmart employee that a worker was specifically paid overtime for three months to go undercover in one store's electronics section and catch them in the act. However, the Redditor must not have hit that location as often because they were never discovered.
He felt like a scumbag but really saved his own life
As Reddit user stfu_sanguinet explained, he once suspected his girlfriend of cheating and no matter how much she denied it, his gut kept telling him she was lying. Although he felt wrong for doing this, he enlisted a friend to show him how to install spyware on her device.
However, this would turn out to be the best decision he ever made. Not only did he discover the affair, but he learned that his girlfriend was planning to poison him and then leave with her affair partner. Sadly, she did accidentally do this to his best friend, who now has to take medication for the rest of his life. She and the affair partner are now married.
It's not hard to see why this stayed a secret
When Reddit user DaiperDaddy shared their darkest secret, they kept it pretty simple. As they said, "I farted so bad and smelly once they had to evacuate my Spanish class to search for a gas leak." As hilarious as it is, it's also understandable why they kept it so secret.
At the time, the intensity of that response would have compacted the embarrassment about what was ultimately a pretty harmless fart. Although
A classic prank that used to be more common
Although they didn't share when this happened, Reddit user Realwhattheduck apparently felt the need to confess that they once hijacked a store intercom's system. It started with them enthusiastically using an expletive, but their ultimate point was that whatever they were talking about was " absolutely delicious and creamy."
To be honest, this isn't really something that they needed to keep under wraps for so long. Back when Tom Green (pictured) had his famous but controversial show, that was considered a fairly boring day by his standards. For the record, he kept saying "tasty corn" when he did it.
The kid isn't the one who needs this to stay a secret
Reddit user PeachyPunks described needing speech therapy until high school, but mentioned that they got one speech therapist fired as a child. However, this was because she belittled and mocked their attempts to pronounce the sounds they struggled with, which made them not want to speak at all.
When their mother noticed this, they broke down and explained what happened, which led the mom to threaten legal action against the school. Despite a phone call where the therapist begged the mom to forgive her and let her keep her job, she was soon fired. That said, the only one who needs to be ashamed of this story is the speech therapist.
This secret isn't that dark, but that's the whole point
Although many of them aren't likely to say so, the group of people that still use a night light as they sleep after they stop being young children is larger than many may think. After all, one doesn't have to think otherworldly monsters are lurking in the dark to be still afraid of it.
While many of these people learn to face their fears by the time they're teenagers, others can still be nervous about the dark as adults. Reddit user corpetamaliu is one of these people, and they admitted that they still use a night light because of it. As they said, "Don't judge me, it's comforting, okay?!"
At least it taught them a valuable lesson
Reddit user PhantomRoyce makes no bones about the fact that they should be in jail for impaired driving. It's not just that they drove while under the influence, but that they had a suspended license and drove into a phone booth at the time.
However, they called the police before they were discovered and claimed they overcorrected after a tow truck cut them off. The car was totaled and the registration may have also been suspended, but the cop gave them their license back and let them walk away. They've been sober ever since.
He probably didn't even notice in the madness of that year
In 2004 — the final year that British rock star Pete Doherty was in The Libertines — Reddit user Glittering_South5178 managed to guess his email password and hacked his account. They also logged into his messenger program and were immediately bombarded with concerned messages from Doherty's friends, as the musician was battling severe addictions at the time.
The Redditor swears they didn't read any of his emails, as these messages scared them into logging out and sending Doherty's manager a panicked email. In it, they apologized profusely for the hacking and promised not to do it again.
He's far from the only one with that kind of secret
Reddit user lifesuxwhocares confessed that he spent the last 15 years addicted to a controlled substance. Although he suspected that some could tell by his frequently glassy and bloodshot eyes, his erratic behavior, and his flushed face, his never told anyone.
However, recent events have now given him hope that this dark secret will remain in the past, as he was 13 days clean by the time he made his Reddit post. In his words, "Life is good to be among the living with emotions."
Breaking the cycle in any way they can
Although the extent of their hardship is a long and sad story, Reddit user MetaJonez described being severely mistreated by many adults when they were growing up. However, their father was one of the worst and contributed greatly to the trauma that has likely led to their shizoaffective disorder.
He also told them that it was "the way of the world" for them to eventually do the same to their kids, and they aren't sure he's wrong. So, at 54 years old, they've resolved to never have children and let their dad's genes die with them. As they put it, "Sorry, Pops. I'm just not interested in the family business."
No matter what they do, someone slips through the cracks
Although they didn't get specific, Reddit user fodder_king simply said, "I'm a fraud in academia, i just look great." Although commenters wondered whether they were experiencing impostor syndrome, they maintained that they were as clear-cut of a fraud as one can be.
Whether this means they cheated on exams to get their position, plagiarized, or committed some other academic offense, it sounds like they could legitimately be fired or expelled (depending on their position) if they were ever found out. Although universities are always trying to crack down on fraud, there are always ways around their measures.
We never know what will end up comforting us
Although Reddit user jrwhill's secret didn't involve any sordid or even mildly transgressive behavior, it wasn't nonetheless something he clearly felt vulnerable about. After his divorce, he fell into a deep depression that left him going for weeks without showering or brushing his teeth.
However, he discovered an unexpected mental turning point when he found a baby blanket from his infancy in an old trunk. After he wrapped it around himself, he got the best sleep he had in years. Although he's a 42-year-old man, he still keeps that blanket around his bed for that reason.
This is actually more wholesome than anything
For whatever reason, Reddit user AlternianGamer99's grandfather stole a red pepper shaker from an Italian restaurant many years ago. Although this isn't exactly consequential, it apparently remained a funny enough incident in their family that they remembered it even after his passing.
So, when they returned to that restaurant a year after losing their grandfather, they stole a Parmesan cheese shaker to have a matching set. This person must live a very virtuous life if this is their darkest secret. Honestly, the restaurant would probably have let them have the shaker if they told this story first.
