This Teen Girl Was Sent Home From School Over Her Appearance, Then Her Dad Steps In
When the school administrator called Tony Alarcon to let him know that his middle school daughter's outfit was breaking the school dress code, he was confused. He dropped her off in the morning and saw other girls wearing something similar. Why were they signaling out his daughter?
Then the administrator let it slip the real reason his daughter was called to the office. After listening to them berate his daughter he rolled up his sleeves. He was ready for a fight.
Tony Alarcon Was A Man On A Mission
Tony Alarcon is a successful investment banker and real estate mogul, so he is used to getting his way. When he realized the things his daughter's school was saying about her, he wasn't going to let it slide.
When he drove up to the school and saw her tear-stained face, he knew there was going to be a fight -- he wasn't going to take things lying down. You won't believe the reason why his daughter was called out.
Demetra Didn't See What Was Wrong With Her Clothing
Tony's daughter, Demetra, was embarrassed that she had been called out that day. Even though dress code violations happen every day, it doesn't mean it was any less mortifying for the teenage girl.
When she picked out her outfit that morning she saw nothing wrong with it. Her dad didn't even say anything when he dropped her off. And a father would be the first person to tell his daughter to go back to their room and change!
She Picked The Outfit Because of The Temperature That Day
Demetra's school was like any other public school and there were no uniforms. The school board just asked that the students dress modestly, which is not an abnormal request. When Demetra picked out her outfit that blistering hot California morning she never expected it to cause such an uproar.
She also never expected her dad to get into a clash of the titan' type of situation with the school administration over a simple outfit. But this was just the beginning.
She Didn't Dress Any Different Than The Other Girls
The poor teenager's outfit became a hot-topic overnight, and what was once a quiet life turned into a whirlwind of media and public outcry. But why Demetra? Her outfit was no different than the other girls that day. It was so hot out, who could blame them?
Aside from the "dress code violation" that caused all of the initial attention, something even worse was on the horizon. There was no way that a simple outfit was the reason to humiliate a teenager.
It Was 90 Degrees Out In Los Gatos, California
Raymond J. Fisher Middle School is located in Los Gatos, California. It was 90-degrees out that day, Demetra decided to wear a blue romper so she would be comfortable in the heat. Who could blame her?
Even though it is a very harmless outfit, there was just something about it that was going to make people lose their minds. A teacher called her out on the outfit in her first class, and then the principal made the mistake of calling her father.
The Principal Gave Her Father Two Options
On the phone, the principal gave Tony two different options. The first, he could come by the school and pick up Demetra and bring her home. Pretty much a day suspension. The second option would be to drop off a change of clothing.
Tony was confused, and rightfully so! He didn't see anything wrong with the outfit his daughter had on this morning. And he would know, he's the one who dropped her off at school. And weren't other girls wearing something similar?
He Decided To Bring His Daughter A Change Of Clothes
Reluctantly, Tony went to his daughter's room and started to rifle through her drawers, trying to find an outfit the school would deem "appropriate." He finally stumbled across a plain tank top and a pair of denim shorts -- harmless!
He drove to the school only to find his daughter waiting at the gate with a tear-stained face. What did the principal say to his daughter that would warrant tears? Tony's battle was just beginning.
The Second Outfit Didn't Pass The Dress Code Either
Demetra changed into the clothing that her father brought her. You won't guess what happened. The principal, again, said that her outfit was not acceptable for school. Tony was now furious. He had personally picked out the outfit, so he knew there was nothing inappropriate about it.
He asked the administrator exactly what the issue was, even having Demetra demonstrate how the shorts were covering her a decent amount. He wanted them to tell him the truth.
They Still didn't Say Why It Was Inappropriate
Tony had his suspicions as to why they were signaling out his daughter, but in this day and age, he didn't want to believe it. Even though he was prepared for the worst, he was outraged when they actually came out and said it.
Even so, the school administrator continued to tip-toe around the actual reason why they were making a big deal about his daughter's clothing. You won't believe what their next excuse turned out to be.
The Fingertip Test
They went on to explain that the dress code violation had nothing to do about modesty and everything to do about the "fingertip test." Meaning, her thumb had to be above the hemline of her clothing. The school administrator said that the romper and the denim shorts did not pass the test, they were too short.
Baffled at that reasoning, Tony argued that other girls in Demetra's class were wearing the same exact thing. Why weren't they being pulled out of class?
The Shorts Passed The Test
As absurd as it is, Tony had Demetra demonstrate the "fingertip test" for the administrator. She relaxed and let her arms fall down to her sides. And what do you know, the hem of the shorts fell below the tip of her thumb.
Seeing that the explanation wasn't going to work on the increasingly angry father, the administrator quickly came up with another. Her next reasoning had Tony seeing red. What exactly was she saying about his daughter?
The Clothing Was "Distracting" To The Male Students
The administrator regretted the words right after they left her mouth. The reason was that her outfits were distracting to the boys in Demetra's class. What a joke. Now that he had the true reason why the school was singling out his daughter he was going to fight back.
The school had made his little girl cry not because of her outfit choice or that she dressed immodestly. It was because she was "insinuating" things to the male students.
The Administrator Thought Leggings Were A Compromise
Then the administrator did something truly astounding. She said that the only way Demetra was going to be allowed back in class was if Tony brought her a pair of leggings to wear. It's 90-degrees outside! Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.
The father and daughter couldn't believe the unfairness of it all. Demetra felt like she was being bullied about her appearance and Tony agreed with her. The school had something else coming to it.
There Was A Double Standard At The School
Demetra quickly pointed out the double standard at the school, and how the dress code was never enforced on the male students. Hats weren't allowed to be worn in class, and yet the boys broke that rule on a daily basis without any repercussions.
Tony then pointed out that he sees students in the parking lot every day not following the dress code. It definitely looks like the female students are being watched a lot closer than the males.
Tony Decided To Ask His Daughter's Friends
How could they make someone wear leggings on such a hot day? Tony felt as though the dress code didn't allow for hot-weather options. And the fact that they weren't allowing for his daughter to be comfortable was not acceptable to him.
Tony decided to go to his daughter's friends, asking for their opinion on the matter. Almost every girl agreed that the dress code was unfair. The girls were being made to feel uncomfortable all because the male students couldn't control themselves?
Tony Went To The Media To Voice His Concerns
This was all unacceptable to Tony. He took to his daughter's dilemma to the media, appearing on Today and a few other local news reports. He voiced his concerns about the school's unfairness towards its female student population. More importantly, he voiced how the school made his daughter feel that day.
He told the reporters that all his daughter wanted was to feel comfortable, and that the school was doing the opposite. Was Tony going to win this fight?
The Dress Code Shouldn't Be The Administration's Decision
When asked for solutions to the outdated dress code Tony had a very reasonable idea. The dress code should be up to the parents. The teachers shouldn't be the ones to decide what is and what isn't appropriate for the students to be wearing.
The proposed idea actually started to gain some traction with the public. After all, the dress code was outdated. Parents also weren't willing to subject their daughters to the same type of treatment as Demetra.
Tony Came Up With A Few Solutions
Tony proposed that they update the dress code, stating that "underwear and midriffs could not be visible" and that there should be "no shirts with spaghetti straps." Both amendments were not unreasonable options and were actually very agreeable.
What the father didn't know at the time was that he was scratching the surface of a much larger societal issue -- females "insinuating things" because of their clothing choice. But not everyone agreed with Tony's stance on the issue.
There Are Two Sides To The Argument
There seemed to be two very different sides of the argument. While most people were agreeing with Tony, saying that he was digging into the issues surrounding body image and the objectification of girls, others were saying that if teenagers were allowed to wear anything they wanted then the educational system would be chaos.
Who knew that one father standing up for his daughter would cause such a stir! The issue was so hot that the school had no choice but to make a statement.
Change Was Inevitable
The school said that the dress code was in place to establish guidelines for "reasonable decorum." Tony didn't back down, he was adamant that the school do something about the unreasonable dress code that they have in place. They had completely overreacted to his daughter's clothing choices, after all.
Principal Fraser decided to hold a meeting, eventually agreeing that some changes need to be made to the current rules. Only time will tell what those actually changes will be.
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