Dog Owners Will Certainly Crack Up At These Hilarious Dog Photos (We Dare You Not To Laugh)
What did we do to deserve to have dogs in our lives? They bring us more joy than we will ever be able to show to them, even if they do occasionally rip up our couch cushions or bark every night at 3 am for no particular reason.
You don't know what pure, unadulterated happiness looks like until you give your pupper a brand new toy that she picked out from PetSmart or you ask your dog if he wants to go for his third walk of the day. The second you own a dog you'll realize what you've been missing.
What're You Eating Now?!
Similarly to owning a toddler, owning a dog means you spend a lot of time looking in a mouth that isn't yours, and probably taking things out of that mouth.
A Refined Pallet
You've tried hiding the pills in her kibble, you've tried covering it in peanut butter, you've tried disguising it inside a chunk of cheese, and now the only way for you to get your dog to take that teeny tiny thyroid pill is to basically force-feed them. You saw them eat another dog's poop yesterday, but they have a problem with a pill? Great.
It's Much Worse Than Catfishing
This a cardinal dating app sin. If you have a dog in any of your pictures, that dog better be yours because he is absolutely part of the reason people will swipe right, and you're kidding yourself if you think otherwise. No one cares about the mediocre puns you made in the bio, we just want to meet that beautiful golden retriever.
Sophie's Choice
The secret is to get the dog while your child is still a baby, before you discover if they're allergic or not. That way, by the time you find out, it'll be too late. You already have the dog, everyone loves him and is attached to him, so your baby will just have to get used to it.
Whatcha Got There?
It doesn't matter that your dog has no idea what you're cooking. All that matters is she wants some, and she's going to make sure she gets it. The reason she sits so close to you is because it's worked every other time, so no reason to change her tactics now right?
Dating With Purpose
Things to look for in a future partner: responsibility, so they remember to feed the dog every morning; self-awareness, so they understand your relationship with your dog is more important than your relationship with them; and flexibility, so you can spontaneously come home with a second dog without them getting mad.
The Escape Artist
No matter how much you love them and care for them, sometimes you end up with a little Houdini artist for a dog, and they constantly try to escape your clutches as if you don't feed them gourmet kibble and food directly off your plate every day.
Dogs Cost As Much As Children If You Treat Them Right
I don't know about you, but I spend $1000 a year on festive clothing and events alone. She needs a bandana for Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Valentine's Day, Labor Day, plus you have to budget for at least 12 Christmas bandanas and a birthday party! If you're only spending $1000 you don't love your dog.
Separation Anxiety
If you have a dog that needs to see you at every possible second of every day, you have to get creative sometimes. Clearly this little guy isn't afraid of water, or he's more afraid of not being near you.
Priorities
Everyone gets to a point in their friendship with someone who has a dog where you stop pretending you want to see the person and you're honest about what you really need from them: uninterrupted time with their pup.
You Owe it To Them
Your dog deserves to have all the luxuries they've always dreamed of, so if they want pancakes, make them pancakes! You owe it to them to give them the best life possible.
He IS The Essentials
Every time you go on a business trip or on vacation, you try to explain to him that you're going to be coming back, but he just stares at you, and then suddenly he's in your suitcase and you're getting pulled over by TSA for trying to smuggle a dog onto an airplane.
What Am I Looking For In A Company?
The only thing we really care about when looking for a job is a) is there an office dog? And b) if not, is there a possibility of getting one in the near future?
Is It Worth It? Yes.
Spending money on your dog is completely different than spending money on yourself. Your lil pup can't earn their own money, so it's up to you to buy him those treats and those fancy collars. Otherwise, he'll have nothing and he'll be sad.
Do You Wanna Go For A W--
Nothing can compare to the joy of a dog being asked if they want to go for a walk, or go for a car ride, or go to the park. We should all aspire to live our lives with that much excitement. If you're not as happy as this boy is to go to work everyone, just stay home with him instead.
Surprise: It's You. You're The Good Boy.
You have to let them know they're a good boy as much as you can because what if, by some ill twist of fate, they forgot that they are the good boy? That's why we have to tell them every day, multiple times a day.
The Only Careers We Care About
The only careers that we care about this year are centered around dogs. If we don't get to see at minimum 1 dog a day in our field, it's time to switch jobs and start fresh.
Treats To Go
It's hard not to get offended when they've been demanding all of your attention for the past three hours while you've been trying to work, then you give them a treat and they immediately walk away. They're not going to get another one if they keep acting rude.
No Dog? No Attendance
Why would anyone want to stay at a party and talk to regular old humans when you could go home to spend time with your dog, aka the one who accepts you and loves you unconditionally?
The Only Aspect Of A Presidential Campaign That Matters
Who needs to host Presidential debates when this is obviously a much better process? If they bark at everyone then you have to redraw the candidates because their bark is law.
All Eyes On Them At All Times
Don't get a dog unless you're prepared for a furry creature to follow you around for the next 8-12 years and demand all of your attention at any given moment. If you can't make that commitment, get a cat.
WebMD Is Always Right
If a dog is smart enough to be able to use a computer and write this article, then we trust it, no questions asked! It's science, and we're not going to argue with science.
The Possibilities Are Endless
If your dog starts barking randomly during the day, it could mean that Timmy's stuck in a well, or that there was a dog or a squirrel or a person or a blade of grass outside. Realistically, you'll probably never know.
I Do Believe In Spooks
Owning a dog means you're probably going to start believing in ghosts, because there's no other possible reason that your dog could wake up barking at 3 am right? It has to be some sort of paranormal activity.
Why Do Dads Even Bother Lying About This?
For all the dads out there who "absolutely do not want a dog" or who "will never allow a dog in this house," we see you, and we're on to you. We know you want a dog.
Time To Teach Him A Lesson!
For such a small creature, they can make quite the mess, and sometimes you wish there was a way that you could get them back for destroying that new pair of shoes you bought. But then you see their cute little faces and you can't be mad.
Puppies > Kids
Why host a birthday party where the only guests are screaming children who've eaten too much sugar? Instead, you could host a party where all the guests want to be pet by you and you can give them all the treats they deserve!
They Know When You're Two-Timing Them
Coming home to a dog that knows you've betrayed them is worse than coming home to an angry wife. If you're going to pet another dog, you better not let your pup know, and you better wash the smell off before you have the audacity to return.
No New Friends, Only New Dogs
Why would anyone go to a place that doesn't allow dogs when you could go to a place that does? Stick to dog parks, regular parks, any sort of green space really, and pet stores. You'll thank us later.
WWMDD - What Would My Dog Do?
Honestly, is he wrong? If you ever have to make a decision about your dog, think about what they'd do for you, and you'll know the answer. She deserves more than your dirty tap water, even if she did drink out of a puddle last week.
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