Texting Signs That Show He’s Really Just Stringing You Along
Sometimes it can be hard to really tell where you stand with the new guy you're seeing. One day he's sending you a heartfelt "bbg wya" text at 2 am and the next day he's snapping you a dark picture of his foot and asking if you think it's infected or not. If you have to ask you should probably just go to the hospital.
Here are some unmistakable signs that he'd rather play with your heart than start something serious with you. These'll get you out of those dark murky relationship waters and give you some solid idea of where you stand with him and his primary healthcare provider.
If He's Ever Asked You "Who Is This"
If he's literally ever texted you being like "sorry who's this?" it means he never saved your number, obviously. But more than that, it means he doesn't care enough to, which is just ruthless.
So run, and run far, because that man is not trying one ounce to connect.
There. Are. Zero. Emojis.
If he's texting you in correct MLA format with. many. periods. and zero smiley faces or cat emojis, then you can pretty much bet there's not an emotional connection between the two of you that he's feeling.
But then again, maybe he's just dead inside. It can be really hard to tell.
He's "Busy" So Can You "Talk Later?"
Okay so according to how "busy" this man is, he's the CEO of at least six fortune 500 companies, he works 25 hour days, and has no time to text you, let alone breathe air through both nostrils.
First of all, nobody is that busy, so he's just a lame liar and even though he's not interested, he's not worth your time anyway.
He's Constantly Making Plans With You
The constant text asking if you're free next week for a cute little indie concert he heard about at his yoga studio initially may seem like a good sign, but if he's only making plans with you and rarely following through then he might just be playing.
Try and keep track of how many of these plans turn into actual dates.
You Can't Remember The Last Time He Asked How You Were
Are you the soundboard for every single woe in his life? The person dutifully listening to his rants about the capitalist machine that is the fruit-bottom yogurt machine while you're not sure he knows your last name?
Well, you might have a dude who doesn't really care on your hands.
There's Never A Double Text
If you're hitting with a single, double, triple text assortment of memes, facts, and little tidbits from your life and he's just sending you one short one addressing maybe a tiny bit of what you've sent, then he's just drifting and not engaging with your interaction.
Not only is this rude, but this is also a violation of basic texting manners.
He's Always "Good" Ft. Other One Word Responses
If he's texting you like you text your mom when she's lecturing you with a lot of curt one-word responses, then he's just trying to fool you into thinking he cares when he really doesn't.
The kicker is that he's going to send you this uninterested garbage to string you along and then ask to come over later that night.
He's Always On Social Media While Ignoring Your Texts
If this man has an obnoxious 90 second Instagram story and is letting the world know how wild the night out with the boys is, yet won't respond to your "how was your day" text, then he's probably not that interested in talking to you.
So fly away and find someone with more interesting things to do on Friday nights than pour Grey Goose down his brother Jacob's throat.
He's Allergic To Texting First
If you feel like this man will only ever reach out if you hit him with the "hi" then he's probably just going with the flow and isn't really interested.
He's probably just being polite and doesn't know how to tell you he's emotionally only committed to his custom sneaker business right now. They do customs in leather dude.
You're Questioning If You Should File A Missing Person's Report
So he's sent you a message last Friday, to which you took half an hour to respond to for the record, and it's now Wednesday night and he still hasn't messaged you back.
Do you call the police and tell them he's missing? No. You tell them he's a jerk who doesn't know how to be honest with people.
Their Texting Self Is A Vanilla Version Of Their Real Selves
So you went on a date and he was funny, charming, and ordered an organic vegan mushroom coffee that just screamed "I'm cool and cultured," but now he texts you like he's in hour six of an eight hour night shift at a clerical job.
If his texting self is dull, boring, and not really engaged in the conversation then he's either really bad at communicating or he's losing interest fast.
He's Business In The Front And Business In The Back
If you two have a professional or academic relationship apart from your romantic one, then this is a sign you need to be careful you don't misunderstand. If he's only texting you about work or school or some other business matter it doesn't mean he's into you.
He's most likely just looking for someone to clue him into how to do his taxes.
He's Weirdly Guarded About His Life
When we don't really trust or like strangers and don't want them getting more familiar with us we often guard information about ourselves. So watch out if he won't even tell you something simple like the company he works for or what car he drives.
Listen, sire, nobody is that great of a detective that we're going to pick out your Honda Civic from the 50,000 on the city roads.
You'll Get A Text When You're Absent For A Little While
The minute you're actually beginning to heal and forget about this obviously not fantastic man, he pops back into your life with a "hey" text.
That's because he can sense that you're moving on and that is just not what he wants because if you leave he can't text you at 4 am and ask you to pick him up from the club.
You're Constantly Repeating Yourself
You must've told him at least ten times that your dog's name is Bobby, your birthday is in June, and you're a vegetarian, but he repeatedly texts you all shocked that you even have a dog.
If this man is doing this he's either concussed or completely unengaged in your conversations and that's just no good.
"Looool"—Him In Response To A Paragraph You Sent Him
So he's cool to send you whatever memes, tweets, and crazy articles about how the lights in the sky are actually just reflections off the tops of skyscrapers and not stars, but you send him one funny thing and he hits you with a default zero interest reaction.
Ask yourself, is that really acceptable?
Punctual Texting? Never Heard Of Her
You're the type to take max two hours to respond to something, while he takes 5-9 business days.
He swears that his postal-service speed is because he's "so busy" but it's probably just because he's putting in the minimal emotional effort to just keep you as an option.
You're Anticipating His Cancelation Text
Oh look at that, it's 2 pm, you two have plans at 3 pm, and you've gotten the expected "hey sorry can't make it" text that he always sends.
He's almost got an empathy center in his brain and he's not a traditional kind of jerk, so he won't stand you up exactly, but he's got no problem leading you on until the last possible minute.
You're Getting Radio Silence
So...yeah. All of these responses show low interest and that he's really just stringing you along for whatever reason, but the biggest giveaway is just silence.
It really sucks, but if he doesn't respond at all then you need to delete his number and start healing.
He Can't Take A Compliment
Or give one for that matter. He'd rather neither one of you get too attached and the fewer compliments, the more casual the relationship feels to him.
Plus, if he were to start giving compliments you might dare start expecting them, and he can't have that.
Poor Guy Always Has "So Much Going On"
Life isn't always kind, sure. We get busy and we get overwhelmed. But, the whole point of starting to date someone is having that extra support.
If he's chosing to run away from you rather than slowly open up, then there's your first red flag. Odds are that it's just an excuse anyway.
Questions End With Their Answers
Even your most open-ended questions that you've curated to find out their deepest darkest secrets only get a few words out of them and they never ask the question back to you.
They don't seem to want to get to know you any better either because they don't care to or it's too much effort.
No Chicken Soup For You When You're Sick
He doesn't seem to care at all if you tell him you're sick.
While you're sniffling in bed and feel like death and all you want is your man to text you something cute to make you feel better, all you get instead is "that sucks" and never a follow up if you ever got better.
You Suddenly Become The Center Of His Attention...At 3 Am
He's finally making you feel like a queen, telling you all of the right things and almost making up for all the times you cried yourself to sleep over him.
Except it's 3 am, and he's already letting you know he has to leave before breakfast for a big meeting. That's called a booty call sister.
He Refers To You As "Bro"
It may just be his personality or it might just be that you've completely been friend-zoned and he doesn't know how to tell you that straight up.
On the bright side, if he's talking to you like he talks to his guy friends he might actually like you as a person and want you in his life. Just not as a romantic partner.
You Can't Seem To Graduate From Texting To Even A Phone Call
Texting is the most basic form of communicating. It is meant as a means to stay in touch when you can't physically see each other, but it's not meant to replace all other forms of interaction.
If you can't get him to even schedule a phone call with you, and he always hangs up if you Facetime him because it's "not a good time", chances are there will never be a good time for him.
You're Constantly Fighting Yourself Not To Double Text
There is an internal battle going on inside you at all times that maybe if you send just one more text to clarify the last one or make the conversation more interesting then that will entice him to text you back faster.
Instead, you're left with 80% blue messages, vs his 20% contribution.
He Never Bothers To Reschedule
The problem isn't even that they're constantly bailing on you, but that they don't bother to ask when you can reschedule or initiate new plans themselves.
You feel like you have to be the one to hassle them to see when they're free instead, and they never seem to know.
He Talks To You About Other Girls
The ultimate sign that he's just not that into you is if he mentions other girls. Whether it's a slip, for advice, a story, or it's to make you jealous, you should be the last person he talks to about other girls right now.
Take it as a sign that he might be just be stringing you along until something "better" comes along.
So What Can You Do If You Think He's Playing Games?
If any of the things on this list are registering, there are some things you can do to stop the game playing.
None of them are easy, but ask yourself, is any of it going to be harder than this dating limbo?
The Most Important Thing You Can Do Is Take Back Your Power
You have to take back your power. In these situations where someone is playing games with our hearts, it can be hard to see it.
It can also be disheartening and make you feel like what you want isn't reasonable and that you're the problem.
Be Very Clear About What You Need From The Relationship
Sit them down and be clear about what you need from the relationship you're in and what they're not delivering.
Put your foot down. You don't have to make compromises about what you think you deserve.
Be Prepared To Lose Him
You have to be prepared because this guy who is playing games with you might not want to rise to the standards you deserve.
That's OK. But be ready for that. Be prepared to let him go.
Don't Play Games Back
The last thing you want to do is play games back. That isn't going to accomplish anything, and you'll end up more hurt.
You don't need to stoop down to his level to prove your point.
Stop Waiting Around For Him
Stop waiting for him to figure out that you're outstanding and worth dating.
Move on with your life, even if you haven't had that relationship-ending conversation. He'll eventually catch on to what's happening.
Stop Making Him A Priority
If he isn't going to make you a priority in his life, stop making him one in yours.
Yes, I know we should always treat people who we want to be treated, but sometimes when it comes to dating, we need to treat people who they treat us.
Create Boundaries And Stick To Them
Understand what your boundaries are and make them known.
Then you have to make sure you stick to them. Don't make excuses for someone who consistently tests those boundaries or doesn't respect them.
Be Honest About Why Things Aren't Working
If it does come time to break up, don't try and protect his feelings.
Be very honest with him about why this isn't working and how he acted like a jerk.
Start Being Too Busy For Him
Start being too busy for him. It's so tempting to want to drop everything and hang out with the person you like, but you can't.
Work on you and leave him hanging. It's the least he deserves.
