Bride Accused Of ‘Tearing Family Apart’ Over Her Decision To Wear A Blue Wedding Dress
No two weddings are identical, and from venues to food options, decor, and the wedding dress, they're the perfect canvas to showcase the individual personalities of the newlywed couple. With this in mind, even if the wedding itself is unconventional, what the couple wants is all that matters—at least that's how it should be.
One woman on Reddit has shared her wedding planning horror story that involves herself, her divided family, and a blue wedding dress.
Wedding Planning
An anonymous bride-to-be recently took to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole?" to ask if she's at fault for a wedding dress decision that she says is "tearing my family apart."
She begins the story by explaining that she and her now-fiancé recently got engaged and are planning for a summer or fall wedding in 2022. Now when you think of a bride, you probably imagine a white, floor-length ballgown adorned with delicate lace or beading. But that's not what this bride had in mind.
The Bride's Dream Dress
While many people might feel that this bride's taste in wedding attire is a bit unconventional, the bride explains that this gown is the "exact dress I've always dreamt of."
It's based on a Waterhouse painting of Ophelia from Shakespeare's Hamlet. She describes it as a "gorgeous, blue, pre-Raphaelite gown with gold embroidery, and a red underdress just peeking through at the sleeves and hem." Being unable to find the dress in stores, she says that she is going to sew the gown herself.
A Family Tradition
The bride explains that it's tradition for all the women in the family to make a weekend out of wedding dress shopping. She says it's essentially a G-rated bachelorette party where all the women go to multiple bridal shops and everyone tries on clothes and accessories, then celebrate afterward with food and drinks.
"So everyone got upset with me for breaking a beloved family tradition," she says. "They weren't interested in my compromises."
Say "No" To The Dress
She says that the situation really hit the fan once her family discovered what her wedding dress was actually going to look like. Despite living together with her fiancé for two years, relatives said that as a Christian bride, she had to be married in a "virginal white" gown.
The family took their criticism a step further when they said the dress would "look like a 'cheap, tacky, DIY clown costume.'"
Family Feud
The bride's mother is leaving crying voicemails, stating she, her siblings, her husband, and her parents refuse to attend the wedding. Meanwhile, the bride's siblings, some of her cousins, most of her father's side, and everyone on her fiancé's side of the family will attend. The situation has entirely polarized the bride's family to the point where everyone is fighting with each other.
"My older relatives are acting [like] I'm going to show up naked twirling on a stripper pole."
Guilt Trips
She says that the joy of wedding planning has so far been destroyed, and the stress makes her want to elope. Her father keeps asking it if it's worth tearing a family apart all for a dress that she'll only wear for one day, saying that the "guilt trips are starting to break me down and get to me."
Before asking Reddit if she's at fault she says, "I just need an outside opinion to tell me if I'm the crazy one here, because I'm starting to feel like it."
The Day Belongs To The Bride And Groom
Reddit voted overwhelmingly that the bride was not at fault. Many commenters said that first and foremost, the wedding day solely belongs to the bride and groom.
"Be strong and explicit that this is your dream wedding day with your partner, that this is about you and your partner and both of your choices and not about them. That they had their wedding day and experiences already," commented one user.
"They're Not Your Family"
Many other users turned their attention to the bride's family—particularly her father—and pointed out that the only people causing the family to be "torn apart" are themselves.
"If just a dress happens to tear a family apart, was it even family? [Is this] family so fragile it tears apart over a woman's choice of dress? They're not your family, sorry," one user commented.
Why Is This Particular Dress "The One"?
In some of her follow-up comments, the bride explains she and her fiancé are huge history buffs and "kind of nerdy." She then goes into detail regarding the importance of her wedding dress.
"That painting has been a huge inspiration to me," she says. "It's also about the fact that my obsession with it [led] me to learn about pre-Raphaelites, which [led] me to learn about Victorian England...[and] sparked my interest [in] history, literature, classical myths, art, and more."
What Do You Think?
So now that you know the bride's story, what are your thoughts?
Is the bride in the right by choosing to wear her dream wedding dress even if it's controversial, or should she compromise in order to keep peace in the family?
